Life.....

Some days I worry so much that my stomach hurts, and some days I feel hopeful that I finally have things figured out as a mom.  Today is one of those days my stomach hurts.  Austin had a pretty bad breath holding spell this morning.  I am not sure what triggered it exactly.  Maybe it was waking up at 5:15am, maybe it was pain induced as he was crawling into the kitchen.  What I do know is I do not want to see my baby suffer this way anymore.  Luckily he was able to go back to sleep at 7:00am for a much needed nap.  We have big plans to go on a family vacation tomorrow to Pagosa Springs with Adam's family.  This will be a 5-7 hour drive, and once we get there the boys could be overtired and off on their sleep patterns.  Do we go because we want to and take the chance of having crabby boys, or do we bail because life is such a delicate balance everyday.  I found myself researching if there was a hospital near the condo, hoping that would help my decision.  There is one right down the street, but yet I still feel nervous.  Perhaps these are nerves of our first road trip with the boys and I am afraid it will frazzle us too much, or maybe I am nervous about setting Austin up for more episodes with his lack of sleep.  Noah deserves to go, Noah deserves to keep his life as normal as possible.  I just don't know what to do.